the Saturday before Easter Morning

We saw a brief part of the 'Jesus" film last night at our Good Friday service and something just really hit me. I'd heard it before but never really gave it much thought - I have the Word after all and throughout my whole life heard the Christ was crucified and it was all part of God's plan. But in this portion of the movie, it's while Christ is on the cross and the the sun becomes darkened, that you see the faces of the people in the crowd (some are his disciples, Mary is there). They panic and run in fear because its early afternoon and its dark, right? And it hits me - they just knew it was over. Everything they'd sacrificed for following this Man who was struggling for every breath he took - they must have just thought it was over. What now? The despair they must have struggled with... Maybe they thought He would escape by not being found guilty during the illegal trial by the Sanhedrin... but He wasn't. Maybe they thought Pilate would let Him go... but Pilate was a coward and it wasn't what God had planned. Maybe they were just sure the people who threw palm leaves and their cloaks on the road in front of Him as He entered Jerusalem would come to their senses and request Christ be freed.. Maybe they thought some miracle would whisk Him away before the Romans could begin nailing Him to the cross. At what point did it hit them - their Rabbi was going to die before their very eyes and no one, not even God the Father, was going to intervene. Did they blame Judas? Did they look sideways at Peter, James and John who were with Him that night in the Garden as Christ prayed for a way out, yet yielded to the will of His Father?

And just for a moment I felt a twinge of the despair that must have gripped their hearts and how tumultuous their world must have been for the next 40 something hours until that early Sunday morning...

To catch a glimpse of that despair and hopelessness would have made that Sunday morning's crisp feel in the air all the more electric as all of Creation hung poised on the edge of God's greatest miracle. The stone was rolled away, the Angels spoke words too amazing to believe, and the Body was gone. And then even more breathtaking, His appearance and reassurance to His disciples that it was not in vain. Because following Him is NEVER in vain. In a way, I am almost envious of how incredible the relief and satisfaction and incomprehensible JOY they must have just been drowning in when the saw HE IS RISEN!! HE IS ALIVE!! I grew up hearing it from the earlies of my days I can remember and sometimes it becomes just a 'truth', it doesn't touch me like it would if I didn't know the ending.

But then came last night. And as I write tonight, this must have been a long night, with eyes to red and raw, no more tears left (I have been there) to even cry and a soul so broken, there is only silence. Words aren't there. How the disciples must have ached!!

Don't fret, rest in comfort. Sunday's coming.

And that's good for now too. Life is hard, death runs seemingly rampant on the earth, stealing what it wants. Pain is everywhere and sin flaunts itself, and justice seems absent. Oh, but Sunday's coming! Thank you so much, Amazing Creator, Holy One, Abba! Thank you for fresh eyes to see Your Glory this Easter!